a warm bowl of nothing soup.

about me. natalie mielle, or daphne if we're close. born in 1994. she, zie, they are all fine but please never call me he or use masculine/butch/etc terminology unless you see me use it first. genderfluid femme bi. white, tme transfeminist, fat and happy with it, disabled ( chronic fatigue, fibro, sleep phase something ) and insane ( cptsd and comorbidities, bipolar ), ex full service sex worker. xviii: the moon. astrology isn't real ( and neither is god, and neither are ghosts ) but aquarius, gemini moon, leo asc, etc specifically because it's so funny to look at.

about the blogger. i've been everywhere on the internet, if only for a day or two, and i've kind of given up on making myself work for social media's sake. i'm very obnoxious about my opinions and i was raised in a cave by a cloud so every third word i use is a pidginette stand-in to bridge the gap between my isolationist word salad and the real word where the concepts i'm trying to verbalize won't exist for another hundred and fifty years.

about the blog. this bearblog exists as a secondary archive for my neocities that means i don't have to perfect my 7000 lines of incoherent css before i'm allowed to talk about what i did that week or what i think about a trend i keep seeing on social media. tumblr works well enough in some respects for that but sometimes i don't want to drop my word salad directly into the pvp enabled zone. the more i'm required to do outside of headbutting my keyboard and then headbutting post, the faster a site loses the genuine unfiltered me to a version designed to maximize serving cunt within the bars of my new e-cage.

my little life. anyway! i've been with my star for fifteen years now and despite the amount of drama and misery and unexpected plane crashes you normally only see happen to people in really bad soap operas. we have a house that is a project, a car we put ten hour roadtrips on every few weeks, and three cats. sprinkle ( 🎂 ) is our oldest, and he's a cheese tabby in addition to being a spoiled baby with a coward's heart. custard ( 🍮 ) is six months younger than him, and he's a black cat with a cleft lip who trained me to play fetch with him. syrup ( 🍧 ) is the youngest, ostensibly a year-and-change younger than sprinkle, and he's a grey tabby whose hobbies are yelling and being jealous of his brothers.

mobile view and high contrast mode. i coded most of the chunks of this bearming variant on desktop when working on my actual neocities css or fighting for my life in Gimp Image Editor ( the only art program i've ever used, horrifically enough ) but i test 90% of it live either on my phone in the bathtub or on my wife's phone where he has darkmode and bigtext turned on. if it's broken on your phone know that it's not because i hate accessibility: it's because i tried really hard and i failed every time until i gave up. as far as specifically colours go i have tried to keep it safe on night mode but i re-read my posts on daymode and so the contrast needs to not be a migraine trigger for me more than any other hypothetical reader who can use the alternate colourscheme without getting sunspots that make them throw up.